.Tuesday, January 12, 2010@2:09 AM.
I really can't get over this two days. Today I'm suppose to feel damn freaking wanted and my life full of joy, that have been for the pass 3 years but this year it's totally opposite. It was our anniversary remember? If we didn't break up, this would be our 4th year, some may think, no big deal, mine is 4,5,6,7 years. It's doesn't matter about the duration but more on how much heart you put in this relationship. I put my 100% and i don't regret it. You no longer accompany passing my days of life, me dwelling in the memories we had together. Took a long walk along ECP, thoughts that ain't what i want really keep coming in my mind. Avoiding everything for that day made me somehow made my emotion more stable, at least i don't need to show other people how childish am i in this area of life.
My wall paper is your picture which I "stole" from your facebook. How ironic was i to delete your facebook, to show how strong and determine i want you out of my life but the truth is, i really can't live without you. I can smile, laugh, giggle and LOL all i want but in the middle of the night, i just need a hug, a simple hug from you. My family ask me why am i so moody this week, i really can't give them a proper answer and just tell them, I'm tired.
I really want to sent a bouquet of flowers to your house but so many objection from the friends around me, i wrote on my calender since the day we broke up and keep reminding myself that i no matter what will do it but belinde told me, you will make things worst for her, creating a commotion between her current boyfriend and her. If you really love her, let her go. How many times in shows, movies and in life you hear this but the thing is not accepting the sentence but to swallow that gush of unwilling down your throat. I really want you to be happy, not because i forget the date, i really want to sent you that bouquet of flowers.
Many times i heard words of encourage from people around me, saying if you want her back, perform better in everything, like your studies, get a good job, earn more than that guy and make yourself more handsome. This to me are words of encouragement because of this phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
I don't think you want to come back to me already because a new phase of your life is starting....I love you Valerie Loy...i really do...
