.Friday, July 31, 2009@7:18 AM.
Trust.
What is trust.
It's nothing but mere hope you put on someone that might or might not believe in you.
Sometimes, i wonder what the hell am I'm doing. I thought of sharing my burden with you but i ended up in deeper shit every time i tell you somethings. I thought you were the most mature and understanding out of the group. I guess i was wrong. I thought you were different, different from the rest but the truth is, you are just as weak as all of us. Maybe in between us, trust is no longer there. I can feel it one way or another. Maybe too many things had happened, making us drifted further and further away. It's not like last time already. It's really a pity you know, i thought this friendship will last my whole life. But when i take another look, i really will be having a second thought whether i should a not. I learn my lessons, I know what i must do. Maybe it's for me to advance another step in maturity.
I can't keep everything, it's not i can't take it but rather, i need someone to share the burden with me, giving me advice or advise me on the matter. Watching all this make me wonder, why are drama scenario coming true in life? It's like i no longer feel the coziness we used to had. It's making me wonder, does it happen to everyone in their life? or it's because of something that started so badly, the wound yet to heal and everyone using their spears and shield to guard against each other already. I'm really disappointed, with everyone including myself. Where's the magical dust that make everything so wonderful?
Sister. You have been reading the things I've posted. My thoughts, negative or positive ones, it rather make me sound so weak, so vulnerable. Advice you been giving me, i thought of it. You are helping me but i just can't change this thought as i wanted? Everyone said i can't forget her but you are the only one that believe i could. Thanks for having that trust in me.
Woman, those words you told me that night. I really spend a night thinking about it, i know what i must do but just give me more time. All this will end soon, because i don't think I'm that strong anymore, i can't do what i did last time. I really feeling pain when I'm typing this, it's feel like I'm really going to throw everything away. Wash my hands from everything already and concentrate with myself already.
Human heart
How much can it contain?
How much can it resist temptation?
How can such beautiful hearts be filled with so much hatred, doubt and selfishness in such short period of time?
Because we are just human
Some using brain
Some using heart
But there's never a time where two will co-exist at one time.
signing off...
forgott3n