.Monday, January 19, 2009@10:46 AM.
I'm back on updating my blog, guess no one really cares or knows about it but i don't give a damn. I really need to tell someone my pain within and i really am at the verge of breaking down. I simply can't live without her man. It's like liking without my soul in this body, it looks and may seem like I'm exaggerating but truthfully I'm not. I've tried using lots of method, like keeping myself busy, ignore her, hate her, find another girl(nope this one i don't think i can do it), keep myself contended with my family and divert my attention to another thing. All this led me to nowhere, i'm still stuck here with her in my mind every second, i admit i never want to leave her. This action may seem cowardly to some guys(ah yer, why can't let go. Not even like a man, can take up surely can put down), what they didn't know it that i really devote myself into this relationship, sweating building it up and stabilizing it. I never thought a girl i can accompany and go with so well and like customize my life to suit hers. I don't feel obilgaled to do it, it's more like a willing thing to do you know.
Sometimes, when you thought you will go with this person your whole life is really a very silly thing to do. The future is filled with uncertainty and sometimes, things may change so drastically that you can't even do anything about it. Why must i face this? Mine is like a happy breakup, feelings not fade away but something occurred and she want to led her life by herself. What can i said? what can i do? Respecting her decision is the only thing i can do to make her happy, I really want to get her by my side and tell her, or even beg her to stay by me and don't go away but my heart is just to soft to said that to her. Lingering by her side won't do any better.
Some people let go of their relationship faster and easier because they met with betrayer, lies, truth and problems. I don't think we have any big problems(other than the educational problem). Now whenever i have time and doing nothing, she goes into my mind, every second, every minute, every hr, everyday without fail. I will dazz and look at her picture, wondering if she's doing good or even worst, imagining i'm with her doing something like shopping, eating or playing.
Valerie Loy, I love you so so much man. I don't know how to forget you, put down on you or even ignore you. Tell me what to do man. I really want to talk to you on the phone, just listening to your voice will do but you don't allow me. What i have got to do to make this just end......